1
00:00:01,728 --> 00:00:03,562
[Crow caws]
2
00:00:04,371 --> 00:00:08,117
Frankie: Spring break, when everyone
flees the cold winter weather
3
00:00:08,118 --> 00:00:11,420
for the surf, the sand, or,
in our case, the couch.
4
00:00:11,454 --> 00:00:13,339
I think they're gonna love it.
5
00:00:13,373 --> 00:00:15,257
No way. They're gonna list it.
6
00:00:15,291 --> 00:00:17,126
He was very clear he wanted
a finished basement.
7
00:00:17,177 --> 00:00:18,711
Yeah, but after they did
that mold remediation,
8
00:00:18,762 --> 00:00:20,212
there's no way they're gonna list it.
9
00:00:20,263 --> 00:00:22,381
But she's not gonna love
it without that mud room.
10
00:00:22,383 --> 00:00:26,051
I wonder what we would do if our
house was ever on this show.
11
00:00:26,053 --> 00:00:27,386
All: List it.
12
00:00:27,437 --> 00:00:29,388
Okay, TV off. I have an announcement.
13
00:00:29,390 --> 00:00:30,639
Oh!
14
00:00:30,690 --> 00:00:32,441
Relax. This is something good.
15
00:00:32,475 --> 00:00:33,725
It turns out Hoosier Baby
16
00:00:33,776 --> 00:00:35,894
placed a fairly big
order with Li'l Rivals.
17
00:00:35,896 --> 00:00:37,779
So, since we have a little extra money,
18
00:00:37,814 --> 00:00:39,565
I thought we should all go on a trip.
19
00:00:39,616 --> 00:00:41,200
You know, someplace nice.
20
00:00:41,234 --> 00:00:42,484
Oh, my God.
21
00:00:42,535 --> 00:00:43,986
We're going to Hawaii!
22
00:00:44,037 --> 00:00:45,070
Ahh!
23
00:00:45,072 --> 00:00:47,739
Aloha 'Oe, Aloha 'Oe
24
00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:49,791
No, no. It's... It's... It's not Hawaii.
25
00:00:49,826 --> 00:00:51,543
It's Mammoth Cave, Kentucky!
26
00:00:51,577 --> 00:00:53,579
Ohh.
27
00:00:53,630 --> 00:00:55,581
No, come on, trust me,
you're gonna love it.
28
00:00:55,583 --> 00:00:58,083
We used to go when I was a kid,
and we always had a blast.
29
00:00:58,085 --> 00:01:00,135
They got these really great cave tours,
30
00:01:00,169 --> 00:01:02,170
and we'd stay at the Pine Cedar Lodge
31
00:01:02,221 --> 00:01:03,755
with an indoor pool,
32
00:01:03,757 --> 00:01:06,091
and then we'd drive up and spend
a day at Old Fort Harrod.
33
00:01:06,142 --> 00:01:08,176
Well, I guess if they have a fort.
34
00:01:08,227 --> 00:01:10,929
No! Spring break is supposed to
be about hooking up with girls,
35
00:01:10,931 --> 00:01:12,597
not hanging around some stupid cave.
36
00:01:12,599 --> 00:01:14,649
Hey, if your dad says it's gonna be fun,
37
00:01:14,684 --> 00:01:16,234
it'll probably maybe be fun.
38
00:01:16,269 --> 00:01:18,687
And, hey, if the Donahues aren't
busy, maybe they'll join us.
39
00:01:18,738 --> 00:01:20,739
I always told Nancy I would let her know
40
00:01:20,773 --> 00:01:22,491
if we ever decided to go anywhere.
41
00:01:22,525 --> 00:01:24,492
Why do we got to bring the Donahues?
42
00:01:24,527 --> 00:01:26,328
Because if you're gonna
drag me to caves and forts,
43
00:01:26,362 --> 00:01:27,662
I'm gonna need someone to talk to.
44
00:01:27,697 --> 00:01:29,414
That's true. I'm not gonna talk to you.
45
00:01:29,448 --> 00:01:32,250
46
00:01:35,288 --> 00:01:37,289
Why are we loading everything
into the Donahues' cars?
47
00:01:37,340 --> 00:01:39,207
They offered to drive. Isn't that nice?
48
00:01:39,258 --> 00:01:40,926
No, it's not. We'll take our own car.
49
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,377
[Sighs] Why?
50
00:01:42,428 --> 00:01:44,045
Would you rather make it to Kentucky,
51
00:01:44,096 --> 00:01:46,131
or spend all week in a
ditch waiting for AAA?
52
00:01:46,133 --> 00:01:48,433
Oh, I don't think AAA
will come for us anymore.
53
00:01:48,467 --> 00:01:50,135
Frankie, this is supposed
to be our vacation.
54
00:01:50,186 --> 00:01:51,353
Yeah, so just relax
55
00:01:51,387 --> 00:01:53,972
and let the Donahue vacation
karma work for you.
56
00:01:54,023 --> 00:01:57,025
I did, and I feel great 'cause
Nancy is on top of everything.
57
00:01:57,059 --> 00:01:58,977
Well, I'm not letting
Ron do all the driving.
58
00:01:59,028 --> 00:02:00,812
- It's a matter of pride.
- Well, your pride
59
00:02:00,814 --> 00:02:03,148
is leaking transmission fluid
all over the driveway.
60
00:02:03,150 --> 00:02:05,233
So just go limp, Mike. It's happening.
61
00:02:07,036 --> 00:02:09,320
Sean, aren't you bringing anything?
62
00:02:09,372 --> 00:02:11,790
Your MCAT study guide, shampoo...
63
00:02:11,824 --> 00:02:12,824
a razor?
64
00:02:12,826 --> 00:02:14,325
Mom, I'm not into possessions.
65
00:02:14,327 --> 00:02:15,877
You just become a slave to them.
66
00:02:15,911 --> 00:02:17,495
You don't own them, they own you.
67
00:02:17,497 --> 00:02:21,382
Okay, girls in one car,
boys in the other!
68
00:02:21,417 --> 00:02:23,918
Let me tell you... breaking the
cars up into girls and guys
69
00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:25,336
was a great idea.
70
00:02:25,338 --> 00:02:27,138
Girls can talk about girl stuff...
71
00:02:27,172 --> 00:02:28,339
[Laughter]
72
00:02:28,390 --> 00:02:30,258
And guys can talk about guy stuff.
73
00:02:33,262 --> 00:02:35,013
Mmm!
74
00:02:35,047 --> 00:02:38,566
Nancy, these caramel corn
balls are delicious.
75
00:02:38,601 --> 00:02:41,619
Glad you like 'em. I
made one for everybody.
76
00:02:41,654 --> 00:02:42,587
[Chuckles]
77
00:02:42,589 --> 00:02:44,605
Oh, those are Sean's favorite.
78
00:02:44,657 --> 00:02:46,407
At least, I think they are.
79
00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:48,393
I just don't know him anymore.
80
00:02:48,427 --> 00:02:50,662
Listen, it's just a phase.
81
00:02:50,696 --> 00:02:51,729
Yeah?
82
00:02:51,764 --> 00:02:53,598
But did your kids ever
go through the phase
83
00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,950
of not wanting to take the MCATs?
84
00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:57,602
They were born in that phase.
85
00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,971
[Both chuckle] But it's not just that.
86
00:03:00,005 --> 00:03:03,515
Sean picked Notre Dame because
he thought it would be
87
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:06,159
his best shot to get
into a good med school.
88
00:03:06,526 --> 00:03:08,876
But if he doesn't take
his MCATs in April,
89
00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:11,112
he's not gonna get into any med school.
90
00:03:11,146 --> 00:03:12,997
- I don't know what to do, Frankie.
- Well...
91
00:03:12,999 --> 00:03:15,933
I held him in contempt at family court,
92
00:03:15,968 --> 00:03:18,402
and he just stopped showing up.
93
00:03:18,437 --> 00:03:20,188
Well, I hear ya.
94
00:03:20,222 --> 00:03:22,156
My kids don't want to
listen to me, either.
95
00:03:22,191 --> 00:03:24,208
Oh, but if somebody else
tells 'em something,
96
00:03:24,259 --> 00:03:25,209
they're all ears.
97
00:03:25,211 --> 00:03:26,477
[Laughs] Yeah, I know.
98
00:03:26,512 --> 00:03:28,279
It... It's almost like they're waiting
99
00:03:28,281 --> 00:03:32,400
for someone else to say it
and then they'll hear it.
100
00:03:32,434 --> 00:03:33,935
Wait a minute.
101
00:03:33,986 --> 00:03:35,002
I'm sorry.
102
00:03:35,037 --> 00:03:37,855
We should talk to each other's kids.
103
00:03:37,890 --> 00:03:39,190
What? What do you mean?
104
00:03:39,224 --> 00:03:41,025
Well, maybe you could talk to Sean.
105
00:03:41,076 --> 00:03:43,678
Y-You know, find out
where his head's at,
106
00:03:43,712 --> 00:03:47,031
see if you can reach his brain
under all of that hair of his.
107
00:03:47,065 --> 00:03:50,077
Well, yeah, sure. I could...
I could talk to him.
108
00:03:50,078 --> 00:03:51,669
Oh, great.
109
00:03:51,703 --> 00:03:55,697
And I can talk to Brick
for you about his thing.
110
00:03:55,698 --> 00:03:58,366
Oh, the whispering and whooping?
111
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,969
We've decided to just live with that.
112
00:04:00,971 --> 00:04:03,188
No, the other thing.
113
00:04:03,222 --> 00:04:05,774
That's got to have you worried.
114
00:04:05,808 --> 00:04:08,476
Well, yeah, that would be great
115
00:04:08,527 --> 00:04:12,146
if you talk to him about... that.
116
00:04:12,148 --> 00:04:14,699
Yeah, we definitely don't
approve of... that.
117
00:04:14,733 --> 00:04:16,201
[Chuckles]
118
00:04:21,550 --> 00:04:24,121
So, we finally arrived
at Pine Cedar Lodge,
119
00:04:24,122 --> 00:04:26,019
and I could see why Mike liked it.
120
00:04:26,020 --> 00:04:27,820
There was a lot of plaid.
121
00:04:27,855 --> 00:04:31,887
Sue, I told you not to order
the six-pound omelet.
122
00:04:31,888 --> 00:04:34,056
Yeah, but if you finish
it in under an hour,
123
00:04:34,091 --> 00:04:35,941
they give you a pin.
124
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:38,894
Sorry Ron's not here. He
had an early tee time.
125
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,263
He always says he could
live on a golf course,
126
00:04:41,298 --> 00:04:43,259
and I say, "You might have to
127
00:04:43,260 --> 00:04:45,961
if you don't spend more
time with your family."
128
00:04:46,903 --> 00:04:50,211
So, I did a lap around the
property, scoped out the talent.
129
00:04:50,212 --> 00:04:51,997
Good news... It's not a total wasteland.
130
00:04:51,998 --> 00:04:54,373
There's at least two total hotties
131
00:04:54,374 --> 00:04:56,230
who also seem to be stuck
here with their families.
132
00:04:56,231 --> 00:04:58,838
So, what do you say, hmm?
133
00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:00,506
Dust off a little "Jerk/Not A Jerk"?
134
00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:02,008
I don't know, man.
135
00:05:02,042 --> 00:05:03,809
Oh, come on. It'll be like the old days.
136
00:05:03,844 --> 00:05:06,545
And we're in Kentucky... we've
never tried it on foreign soil.
137
00:05:06,580 --> 00:05:08,381
What is "Jerk/Not A Jerk"?
138
00:05:08,415 --> 00:05:10,250
Uh, pbht,
139
00:05:10,251 --> 00:05:12,736
it's kind of like good cop/bad
cop but for meeting women.
140
00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:15,305
You see, Sean here goes up
to a lady, acts like a jerk,
141
00:05:15,307 --> 00:05:17,708
then I swoop in, tell
him to leave her alone.
142
00:05:17,742 --> 00:05:21,044
He leaves, the girl is
grateful, I look like a hero,
143
00:05:21,045 --> 00:05:22,813
and... boom... Ice broken.
144
00:05:22,815 --> 00:05:23,780
[Clicks tongue] Hmm.
145
00:05:23,815 --> 00:05:24,882
Sorry, Axl.
146
00:05:24,932 --> 00:05:26,617
I'm just not into the
whole deception thing.
147
00:05:26,651 --> 00:05:28,885
I'm gonna go do some
hot yoga and meditate.
148
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,555
They say when you sweat, a
lot of real truths come out.
149
00:05:31,589 --> 00:05:34,257
Wow, I just want to punch you so bad.
150
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,193
I understand, man.
151
00:05:36,227 --> 00:05:39,443
All right, I'm going
on a tour of the cave.
152
00:05:39,444 --> 00:05:40,705
Who's going with me?
153
00:05:42,297 --> 00:05:43,611
Anybody?
154
00:05:43,645 --> 00:05:44,996
No?
155
00:05:45,030 --> 00:05:47,949
Okay, you're gonna miss it.
156
00:05:47,983 --> 00:05:49,750
Tour guide: You're now
in the deepest recess
157
00:05:49,801 --> 00:05:51,602
of the longest cave system in the world.
158
00:05:51,653 --> 00:05:52,987
When I turn off this lamp,
159
00:05:52,989 --> 00:05:55,356
you'll experience a complete
absence of natural light.
160
00:05:55,407 --> 00:05:57,058
[Switch clicks]
161
00:05:57,092 --> 00:05:58,593
Mike: Cool.
162
00:06:00,929 --> 00:06:03,114
Frankie, drinking before noon?
163
00:06:03,148 --> 00:06:06,379
Mm! It's got pineapple, so
it's basically breakfast.
164
00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:07,263
[Laughs]
165
00:06:07,297 --> 00:06:09,865
Well, I talked to Brick for you.
166
00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:12,486
Oh, we're actually doing that?
167
00:06:12,487 --> 00:06:13,621
Yeah.
168
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:16,106
Turns out poor Brick is just
worried about high school.
169
00:06:16,157 --> 00:06:18,325
That's how it manifested itself.
170
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:22,446
Ah. So, is he still doing... it?
171
00:06:22,497 --> 00:06:25,112
He is making a serious effort to stop.
172
00:06:25,113 --> 00:06:26,964
I think you'll notice the difference.
173
00:06:28,099 --> 00:06:30,367
So, have you talked to Sean yet?
174
00:06:30,401 --> 00:06:34,204
Oh, well, you know how it is with Sean.
175
00:06:34,239 --> 00:06:36,707
I mean, you have to pick
just the right moment.
176
00:06:36,741 --> 00:06:38,141
But I will get right on that.
177
00:06:38,176 --> 00:06:39,276
Thanks.
178
00:06:39,310 --> 00:06:41,995
- You're such an amazing friend to me.
- Oh.
179
00:06:42,046 --> 00:06:44,214
I remember the day that you moved in.
180
00:06:44,249 --> 00:06:46,765
When I saw your stuff
coming off that moving van,
181
00:06:46,766 --> 00:06:47,866
I thought, "Ugh!"
182
00:06:47,901 --> 00:06:50,619
But then you just wormed
your way into my heart,
183
00:06:50,654 --> 00:06:52,417
you little heartworm.
184
00:06:52,418 --> 00:06:53,801
[Both Laugh]
185
00:06:58,478 --> 00:07:00,446
Hey, beautiful.
186
00:07:01,123 --> 00:07:02,890
You're a real hot lady.
187
00:07:02,924 --> 00:07:04,575
You make me feel...
188
00:07:04,626 --> 00:07:05,893
stuff.
189
00:07:05,944 --> 00:07:07,027
Are you hungry?
190
00:07:07,029 --> 00:07:09,446
Perhaps my parents can
buy you a sandwich.
191
00:07:09,481 --> 00:07:11,982
And if we wait a half an
hour, we can go swimming.
192
00:07:12,496 --> 00:07:14,230
But we'll have to stay
in the shallow end.
193
00:07:14,232 --> 00:07:15,832
If I can't feel the bottom, I'll panic.
194
00:07:15,866 --> 00:07:17,700
No, thanks. I'm good.
195
00:07:17,751 --> 00:07:18,835
Oh, don't sell yourself short, toots.
196
00:07:18,886 --> 00:07:20,186
You're way better than good.
197
00:07:20,221 --> 00:07:22,889
Uh, hey, is this guy bothering you?
198
00:07:22,923 --> 00:07:25,108
Actually, yeah, he is.
199
00:07:25,159 --> 00:07:26,930
Okay, buddy, hit the bricks.
200
00:07:26,931 --> 00:07:28,281
Let the lady read her book.
201
00:07:28,332 --> 00:07:30,767
Ugh, fine. I read that book anyway.
202
00:07:30,801 --> 00:07:31,701
The banker's the killer.
203
00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:34,220
Ohh. [Sighs]
204
00:07:34,271 --> 00:07:35,371
Sorry about that.
205
00:07:35,406 --> 00:07:37,390
Jerks like him give us all a bad name.
206
00:07:37,441 --> 00:07:38,825
Well, thank you.
207
00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,009
I'm Sarah.
208
00:07:40,044 --> 00:07:41,694
Axl.
209
00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:43,429
So, uh, you like books, huh?
210
00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:45,732
Yeah. Oh, I did until
he ruined the ending.
211
00:07:47,046 --> 00:07:48,663
- Hey, Brick.
- Hmm?
212
00:07:48,697 --> 00:07:50,681
It looks like you're gonna have
to be my jerk again today.
213
00:07:50,716 --> 00:07:53,284
What? No way. What happened to Sarah?
214
00:07:53,335 --> 00:07:55,303
She's got a boyfriend in the military.
215
00:07:55,354 --> 00:07:57,121
Just can't do that to our troops.
216
00:07:57,156 --> 00:07:58,973
No, I'm not gonna do it, Axl.
217
00:07:59,007 --> 00:08:00,908
Okay, Brick, I didn't want to do this,
218
00:08:00,943 --> 00:08:03,528
but if you don't help me, I
might have to tell Cindy
219
00:08:03,562 --> 00:08:05,947
about your sudden penchant
for older ladies.
220
00:08:05,981 --> 00:08:07,031
She'd never believe you.
221
00:08:07,065 --> 00:08:09,133
Besides, after she
kissed that other boy,
222
00:08:09,167 --> 00:08:11,235
she gave me what they
call a "hall pass,"
223
00:08:11,270 --> 00:08:12,537
which, despite the name,
224
00:08:12,588 --> 00:08:14,822
does not give me free
access to the library.
225
00:08:14,856 --> 00:08:16,235
Oh, come on, Brick.
226
00:08:16,236 --> 00:08:17,503
I can't go back to
school and tell everyone
227
00:08:17,537 --> 00:08:19,305
I just hung out with my
family for spring break,
228
00:08:19,306 --> 00:08:21,057
not at least without
hooking up with somebody.
229
00:08:22,305 --> 00:08:23,884
[Sighs] Fine, but I don't know
230
00:08:23,885 --> 00:08:25,606
why you can't just be your own jerk.
231
00:08:25,607 --> 00:08:28,856
- You're a lot better at it.
- Hey, don't try to flatter me now.
232
00:08:28,857 --> 00:08:30,966
Okay, I'm off to Old Fort Harrod.
233
00:08:31,264 --> 00:08:34,153
They're demonstrating a genuine
Civil War cannon today.
234
00:08:34,154 --> 00:08:35,164
Who's coming with?
235
00:08:37,104 --> 00:08:38,123
Nobody?
236
00:08:38,124 --> 00:08:40,264
All right, more fort for me.
237
00:08:42,264 --> 00:08:46,273
[Bugle playing]
238
00:08:46,274 --> 00:08:48,213
[Cannon fires]
239
00:08:48,214 --> 00:08:49,194
Cool.
240
00:08:54,224 --> 00:08:56,153
Hey, Sean.
241
00:08:56,154 --> 00:08:58,303
Look at you, lookin' all peaceful.
242
00:08:58,304 --> 00:09:00,283
Whatcha doing out here all by yourself?
243
00:09:00,284 --> 00:09:04,113
I guess I just felt like getting
away from my family for a while.
244
00:09:04,114 --> 00:09:07,273
Well, yeah, well, I guess I get that.
245
00:09:07,274 --> 00:09:10,263
So, school's good?
246
00:09:10,264 --> 00:09:12,163
Actually, it's great.
247
00:09:12,164 --> 00:09:14,163
I really feel like I'm
changing, you know.
248
00:09:14,164 --> 00:09:15,163
Like really evolving.
249
00:09:15,164 --> 00:09:16,243
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
250
00:09:16,244 --> 00:09:18,083
Evolving's good.
251
00:09:18,084 --> 00:09:19,293
But my... my parents
don't seem to get that.
252
00:09:19,294 --> 00:09:20,303
They still want me to be
253
00:09:20,304 --> 00:09:22,163
this thing I decided to be when I was 6,
254
00:09:22,164 --> 00:09:24,163
whether I still want that or not.
255
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,293
That's what's so great
about you, Mrs. Heck.
256
00:09:25,294 --> 00:09:28,203
You're just, you know, chill.
257
00:09:28,204 --> 00:09:30,183
Oh, yeah?
258
00:09:30,184 --> 00:09:33,073
I guess I never thought about it.
259
00:09:33,074 --> 00:09:35,253
But the truth is, I am pretty chill.
260
00:09:35,254 --> 00:09:38,163
You listen to your kids, let
'em find their own path.
261
00:09:38,164 --> 00:09:40,173
Like, Axl's never been
that great at school.
262
00:09:40,174 --> 00:09:41,233
You're still proud of him anyway.
263
00:09:41,234 --> 00:09:42,283
That's awesome.
264
00:09:42,284 --> 00:09:46,083
Well, the thing is, Mike and I...
265
00:09:46,084 --> 00:09:49,303
Really, me mostly...
Decided a long time ago
266
00:09:49,304 --> 00:09:51,283
we weren't gonna micromanage our kids.
267
00:09:51,284 --> 00:09:55,073
It might look like we're being
lazy, but it's a choice.
268
00:09:55,074 --> 00:09:57,153
For instance, I have no idea
where my kids are right now.
269
00:09:57,154 --> 00:09:58,223
Brick could be lost in the woods.
270
00:09:58,224 --> 00:10:01,093
But it's up to him to
find his own way home.
271
00:10:01,094 --> 00:10:02,223
See, that's such a great idea.
272
00:10:02,224 --> 00:10:03,283
It is, isn't?
273
00:10:03,284 --> 00:10:05,213
Makes them more self-sufficient.
274
00:10:05,214 --> 00:10:06,001
See, I don't see the need
275
00:10:06,123 --> 00:10:08,608
to go to every school event,
or make my kids' lunches,
276
00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:09,820
or remember their birthdays.
277
00:10:09,821 --> 00:10:12,720
In our house, if you want
something, you speak up.
278
00:10:12,721 --> 00:10:14,212
You don't just get dinner.
279
00:10:14,213 --> 00:10:16,790
Man, I wish my mom
thought more like you.
280
00:10:16,791 --> 00:10:19,514
Oh, well, listen. Parenting's tough.
281
00:10:19,515 --> 00:10:22,304
Just 'cause some of us have
it down better than others,
282
00:10:22,305 --> 00:10:23,344
you can't judge.
283
00:10:23,345 --> 00:10:24,454
But your mom loves you
284
00:10:24,455 --> 00:10:27,354
and she knows how much you
wanted to be a doctor once,
285
00:10:27,355 --> 00:10:29,284
so, you know, why close
the door on that?
286
00:10:29,285 --> 00:10:30,394
Who knows?
287
00:10:30,395 --> 00:10:32,464
You might decide you
want to be one later,
288
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,414
and then you'll regret not
having taken the MCATs.
289
00:10:35,415 --> 00:10:38,658
Yeah, that totally makes sense.
290
00:10:38,659 --> 00:10:40,688
This was such a great talk.
You're so cool, Mrs. Heck.
291
00:10:40,689 --> 00:10:43,738
I am.
292
00:10:43,739 --> 00:10:46,678
I think that's why Sean
responds so well to me...
293
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:49,521
'cause I'm relaxed and Nancy
kind of smothers him.
294
00:10:49,522 --> 00:10:51,441
Yeah, she's a smotherer.
295
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:53,491
I mean, I'm just very "chill"...
296
00:10:53,492 --> 00:10:56,361
Sean's word, not mine.
297
00:10:56,362 --> 00:10:58,311
Are you even listening to me?
298
00:10:58,312 --> 00:10:59,491
Sorry, I was right next to the cannon,
299
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,381
and I can't really hear you.
300
00:11:01,382 --> 00:11:02,511
You should've seen this thing, Frankie.
301
00:11:02,512 --> 00:11:04,361
Mike, I'm not done telling you
302
00:11:04,362 --> 00:11:05,431
how I'm a better parent than Nancy.
303
00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:08,712
See, I've always said that
she's very relentless,
304
00:11:08,713 --> 00:11:11,063
and Sean feels choked
'cause she's a choker.
305
00:11:11,064 --> 00:11:14,053
See, some people have an innate
sense of what a kid needs,
306
00:11:14,054 --> 00:11:16,033
and others have this agenda.
307
00:11:16,034 --> 00:11:18,133
I mean, I'm not saying I'm
right and she's wrong,
308
00:11:18,134 --> 00:11:19,983
but whose kid's a hippie
309
00:11:19,984 --> 00:11:22,023
and whose kid has an
internship at Little Betty?
310
00:11:22,024 --> 00:11:24,013
Oh, yeah, sure, Nancy's
garage is organized,
311
00:11:24,014 --> 00:11:27,113
but she's destroying her children.
312
00:11:27,114 --> 00:11:30,054
313
00:11:33,749 --> 00:11:37,262
No way! No way!
314
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:40,322
Oh, no way!
315
00:11:40,323 --> 00:11:42,133
Oh! Brad, okay, I'll call you back.
316
00:11:43,123 --> 00:11:44,212
Dad, mm!
317
00:11:44,213 --> 00:11:46,182
I have the most incredible news!
318
00:11:46,183 --> 00:11:48,212
- No way!
- [Chuckles]
319
00:11:48,213 --> 00:11:49,322
Okay, I didn't want to tell anyone
320
00:11:49,323 --> 00:11:51,172
because I didn't want to jinx it,
321
00:11:51,173 --> 00:11:54,132
but Brad and I got summer jobs
322
00:11:54,133 --> 00:11:55,202
at Dollywood!
323
00:11:55,203 --> 00:11:56,242
Ahh!
324
00:11:56,243 --> 00:11:58,212
What? How?
325
00:11:58,213 --> 00:12:00,172
The entertainment
committee from the park
326
00:12:00,173 --> 00:12:01,212
came to East Indy,
327
00:12:01,213 --> 00:12:03,152
so Brad drove up and we
auditioned together.
328
00:12:03,153 --> 00:12:06,163
[Up-tempo country music plays]
329
00:12:10,253 --> 00:12:12,222
[Both panting]
330
00:12:12,223 --> 00:12:14,162
We're gonna be performers!
331
00:12:14,163 --> 00:12:16,262
Ah-ha! Okay, well, Brad is.
332
00:12:16,263 --> 00:12:18,302
He's dancing at the Country
Crossroads stage show.
333
00:12:18,303 --> 00:12:20,242
I will be a hostess
334
00:12:20,243 --> 00:12:22,262
at Aunt Granny's
All-You-Care-To-Eat Buffet.
335
00:12:22,263 --> 00:12:24,152
But I'll get to play a character.
336
00:12:24,153 --> 00:12:25,252
Hang on.
337
00:12:25,253 --> 00:12:27,242
You're talking about living
in Tennessee for the summer?
338
00:12:27,243 --> 00:12:28,282
Mm-hmm. But don't worry, Dad.
339
00:12:28,283 --> 00:12:31,172
They have condos for all their employees
340
00:12:31,173 --> 00:12:33,172
right there in Pigeon Forge.
341
00:12:33,173 --> 00:12:34,242
They're really just cabins,
342
00:12:34,243 --> 00:12:36,252
but they call 'em condos
'cause it sounds fancier.
343
00:12:36,253 --> 00:12:38,162
Does your mom know about this?
344
00:12:38,163 --> 00:12:40,262
No, no, no. I didn't tell anybody.
345
00:12:40,263 --> 00:12:42,182
Do you not understand how jinxing works?
346
00:12:42,183 --> 00:12:44,272
I don't know, Sue. I don't like this.
347
00:12:44,273 --> 00:12:48,292
It's in a different state with
strange people in condos.
348
00:12:48,293 --> 00:12:50,302
You won't be home all summer.
349
00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:52,222
I'm not paying for it.
350
00:12:52,223 --> 00:12:53,282
Yeah, I know, Dad.
351
00:12:53,283 --> 00:12:55,252
I-I-I got all that figured out.
352
00:12:55,253 --> 00:12:57,342
I will be making double
what I made at Spudsy's,
353
00:12:57,343 --> 00:12:59,212
so it won't cost you anything.
354
00:12:59,213 --> 00:13:01,302
Oh, plus, the best part...
355
00:13:01,303 --> 00:13:04,182
I won't be smelling
like potatoes anymore.
356
00:13:04,183 --> 00:13:06,322
I'll smell like fried chicken.
357
00:13:06,323 --> 00:13:09,162
It's not about the money.
358
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:11,272
What do we even know
about this Dolly Parton?
359
00:13:11,273 --> 00:13:14,123
I'm sorry, Sue, but I'm
gonna have to say no.
360
00:13:15,223 --> 00:13:18,242
Oh. I-I'm sorry, Dad.
361
00:13:18,243 --> 00:13:22,222
But I wasn't really
asking your permission.
362
00:13:22,223 --> 00:13:24,253
I was just kind of letting you know.
363
00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:31,123
Huh.
364
00:13:31,124 --> 00:13:34,172
If I wanted to protect my
friendship with Nancy,
365
00:13:34,173 --> 00:13:36,232
I knew I had to get to Shelly
before she ratted me out.
366
00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:38,292
Hi, Shelly. Having fun?
367
00:13:38,293 --> 00:13:42,162
You know, sometimes
adults say silly things
368
00:13:42,163 --> 00:13:44,182
that kids don't understand,
369
00:13:44,183 --> 00:13:46,132
like when they talk about mortgages
370
00:13:46,133 --> 00:13:47,332
or other people's parenting skills.
371
00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:50,122
You might think you get it,
372
00:13:50,123 --> 00:13:53,192
but your brain hasn't actually
developed the capacity for irony yet.
373
00:13:53,193 --> 00:13:56,162
In fact, your head's
probably still soft.
374
00:13:56,163 --> 00:13:57,182
If I touched it right now,
375
00:13:57,183 --> 00:13:59,142
my finger would probably
go right through it.
376
00:13:59,143 --> 00:14:00,292
[Chuckling] Not that I will.
377
00:14:00,293 --> 00:14:03,202
The important thing is just not
to say anything to your mom
378
00:14:03,203 --> 00:14:05,232
about anything you may
or may not have heard.
379
00:14:05,233 --> 00:14:07,163
Okay? We cool?
380
00:14:08,273 --> 00:14:11,292
I don't have anyone to
play "Marco Polo" with.
381
00:14:11,293 --> 00:14:14,282
[Sighs]
382
00:14:14,283 --> 00:14:17,312
Marco...
383
00:14:17,313 --> 00:14:20,252
So, given the choice
between an atomic wedgie
384
00:14:20,253 --> 00:14:22,292
and another round of "Jerk/Not a Jerk,"
385
00:14:22,293 --> 00:14:23,332
Brick chose the latter.
386
00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:25,342
Hey, sorry.
387
00:14:25,343 --> 00:14:27,202
Is this guy bugging you?
388
00:14:27,203 --> 00:14:29,192
No, he's actually being really sweet.
389
00:14:29,193 --> 00:14:31,222
I mean, I thought I was the
biggest "Planet Nowhere" nerd,
390
00:14:31,223 --> 00:14:32,272
but Brick here can name
391
00:14:32,273 --> 00:14:34,323
every Silligan officer
in the Pernovian Fleet.
392
00:14:36,313 --> 00:14:37,302
Hm.
393
00:14:37,303 --> 00:14:38,332
Wow.
394
00:14:38,333 --> 00:14:41,252
Marco? Marco?
395
00:14:41,253 --> 00:14:43,152
After three hours of
playing "Marco Polo"
396
00:14:43,153 --> 00:14:44,272
and never finding Shelly,
397
00:14:44,273 --> 00:14:47,132
but inappropriately touching
a couple of old guys
398
00:14:47,133 --> 00:14:49,222
and making their day, I was done.
399
00:14:49,223 --> 00:14:51,272
Look, Shelly. This was really fun.
400
00:14:51,273 --> 00:14:53,252
So fun.
401
00:14:53,253 --> 00:14:56,192
So, I guess the only thing your
mom is gonna hear about today
402
00:14:56,193 --> 00:14:58,162
is how much fun we had, right?
403
00:14:58,163 --> 00:15:02,112
You know, your room has
a really nice view.
404
00:15:02,113 --> 00:15:04,122
[Sighs]
405
00:15:04,123 --> 00:15:05,312
She was telling me about Dollywood.
406
00:15:05,313 --> 00:15:07,252
Not asking, telling.
407
00:15:07,253 --> 00:15:08,332
Is that what it is now?
408
00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:10,232
I'm the guy that gets told things?
409
00:15:10,233 --> 00:15:12,322
Mike, she's going to Dollywood
to sing and dance with Brad.
410
00:15:12,323 --> 00:15:15,112
Other than becoming a nun,
that's as safe as it gets.
411
00:15:15,113 --> 00:15:16,192
Grab your toothbrush.
412
00:15:16,193 --> 00:15:18,282
Why we switching rooms again?
413
00:15:18,283 --> 00:15:21,142
Because I'm being blackmailed
by an 11-year-old.
414
00:15:21,143 --> 00:15:22,292
She said we'd be square
if we traded rooms,
415
00:15:22,293 --> 00:15:24,122
and I need to be square.
416
00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:26,162
Nancy is our neighbor, our friend.
417
00:15:26,163 --> 00:15:28,222
And, by the way, have you tasted
her caramel popcorn balls?
418
00:15:28,223 --> 00:15:31,212
We never should've let Sue
go to East Indy State.
419
00:15:31,213 --> 00:15:32,312
We should've sent her to a school
420
00:15:32,313 --> 00:15:34,262
where they teach kids to
listen to their parents.
421
00:15:34,263 --> 00:15:37,172
Oh, yeah, the University of
Listening to Your Parents
422
00:15:37,173 --> 00:15:38,292
has a really long waiting list.
423
00:15:38,293 --> 00:15:41,112
I mean, Mike, she's 19.
She's covering the costs.
424
00:15:41,113 --> 00:15:42,182
What is the problem?
425
00:15:42,183 --> 00:15:44,262
I can't believe you're okay with this.
426
00:15:44,263 --> 00:15:46,212
Well, of course I'm gonna miss her,
427
00:15:46,213 --> 00:15:48,252
but for Sue, I think
this is a good thing.
428
00:15:48,253 --> 00:15:49,342
I mean, she's always been
a little more clingy,
429
00:15:49,343 --> 00:15:51,232
which of course I love,
430
00:15:51,233 --> 00:15:53,322
but I've been worried that she's
never gonna leave on her own,
431
00:15:53,323 --> 00:15:55,242
so the fact that she wants to do this,
432
00:15:55,243 --> 00:15:57,152
I think we should encourage her.
433
00:15:57,153 --> 00:16:00,222
Yeah, well, maybe you're all
free-wheeling and chill,
434
00:16:00,223 --> 00:16:01,312
but I'm not.
435
00:16:01,313 --> 00:16:03,202
So what're you gonna do?
Punish her for getting a job?
436
00:16:03,203 --> 00:16:05,152
Make her sit in the corner
437
00:16:05,153 --> 00:16:07,232
and write "I will not work for
Dolly Parton" a thousand times?
438
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:09,202
I don't know, but I'm
gonna do something.
439
00:16:09,203 --> 00:16:11,192
I'm not gonna stop being her
dad just 'cause she's 18.
440
00:16:11,193 --> 00:16:13,312
- 19.
- Whatever. She's still a kid.
441
00:16:13,313 --> 00:16:15,212
And I'll tell you something else.
442
00:16:15,213 --> 00:16:17,342
She's coming with me to see that
rock that looks like a buffalo.
443
00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:20,212
So is everybody else in this
family 'cause I said so.
444
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:21,342
[Knock on door]
445
00:16:21,343 --> 00:16:23,293
Oh, my God, it's her.
446
00:16:27,223 --> 00:16:28,322
Hey, Nance.
447
00:16:28,323 --> 00:16:30,202
Hey, what are you wearing
to the dance tonight,
448
00:16:30,203 --> 00:16:31,322
the black thing or the blue thing?
449
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,272
The blue.
450
00:16:33,273 --> 00:16:37,112
Oh, okay.
451
00:16:37,113 --> 00:16:38,302
Hey, have you talked to Sean?
452
00:16:38,303 --> 00:16:41,292
'Cause I got it done...
He's taking the MCATs.
453
00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:43,142
Yay.
454
00:16:43,143 --> 00:16:45,222
Yes, and I want to thank you, Frankie.
455
00:16:45,223 --> 00:16:48,112
I just don't want to smother
you with my gratitude.
456
00:16:48,113 --> 00:16:49,282
Uh...
457
00:16:49,283 --> 00:16:51,142
That's right.
458
00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:53,252
Shelly told me you
called me a smotherer.
459
00:16:53,253 --> 00:16:56,112
What? No, no, no, no.
460
00:16:56,113 --> 00:16:58,142
Smother? She must've misheard me.
461
00:16:58,143 --> 00:17:03,332
I think I said, "Wow, that
Nancy is some mother."
462
00:17:03,333 --> 00:17:05,172
So-mother. [Chuckles] See?
463
00:17:05,173 --> 00:17:07,222
It sounds kind of like "smother."
464
00:17:07,223 --> 00:17:09,232
Kids are really bad with diphthongs.
465
00:17:09,233 --> 00:17:10,232
Uh-huh.
466
00:17:10,233 --> 00:17:12,152
Oh, it's so hot in here.
467
00:17:12,153 --> 00:17:13,242
What, are they raising iguanas?
468
00:17:13,243 --> 00:17:15,162
[Laughs] What were we talking about?
469
00:17:15,163 --> 00:17:18,192
Oh, how kids lie. How old is Shelly? 11?
470
00:17:18,193 --> 00:17:20,152
Can you really trust them at that age?
471
00:17:20,153 --> 00:17:21,342
And what was she doing in a bar?
472
00:17:21,343 --> 00:17:23,112
That's a little bit weird.
473
00:17:23,113 --> 00:17:24,302
I'm not blaming you.
474
00:17:24,303 --> 00:17:26,232
It's just what kids do to get attention.
475
00:17:26,233 --> 00:17:29,262
They... They lie, start fires.
476
00:17:29,263 --> 00:17:32,232
Frankie, it... it's okay.
477
00:17:32,233 --> 00:17:33,262
I'm not mad.
478
00:17:33,263 --> 00:17:34,322
Really?
479
00:17:34,323 --> 00:17:37,162
Look, people talk about each other.
480
00:17:37,163 --> 00:17:38,222
It's what we do.
481
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,302
But the thing is,
482
00:17:39,303 --> 00:17:42,192
deep in your heart, I know you love me,
483
00:17:42,193 --> 00:17:43,342
and I love you, too.
484
00:17:43,343 --> 00:17:46,132
I mean, hello!
485
00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:47,232
You're like a sister to me.
486
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,252
I am?
487
00:17:48,253 --> 00:17:50,202
Of course.
488
00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:55,122
And no matter what, I could
never stay mad at my sister.
489
00:17:55,123 --> 00:17:56,253
Get over here. Ohh.
490
00:17:58,233 --> 00:18:01,112
Come on, let's go get a couple
of those pineapple drinks.
491
00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:02,232
Let's do that, and I'm buying.
492
00:18:02,233 --> 00:18:04,192
Ooh, you know what else they had?
493
00:18:04,193 --> 00:18:06,192
Watermelon Daiquiris.
Doesn't that sound good?
494
00:18:06,193 --> 00:18:07,232
I think I'm gonna try that one.
495
00:18:07,233 --> 00:18:09,192
[Gasps]
496
00:18:09,193 --> 00:18:11,292
Oh, my... Oh, my goodness, Frankie!
497
00:18:11,293 --> 00:18:12,273
What happened?
498
00:18:14,133 --> 00:18:15,332
Did you push me?
499
00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:17,282
No. I think you slipped.
500
00:18:17,283 --> 00:18:20,142
See this spot right here? Very slippery.
501
00:18:20,143 --> 00:18:22,162
Oh, my goodness. Let's
get you out of there.
502
00:18:22,163 --> 00:18:25,332
Did I really slip, or did Nancy push me?
503
00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:27,222
I kind of hope she pushed me.
504
00:18:27,223 --> 00:18:29,252
Because that would mean
maybe, just maybe,
505
00:18:29,253 --> 00:18:31,272
there's a little sliver of Nancy
506
00:18:31,273 --> 00:18:33,303
that's down in the gutter
with the rest of us.
507
00:18:37,193 --> 00:18:39,182
Sue: It's open.
508
00:18:39,183 --> 00:18:41,233
Listen, Sue, I'm sorry, but...
509
00:18:42,303 --> 00:18:44,133
You ready to go?
510
00:18:48,283 --> 00:18:51,142
Uh, yeah. Okay.
511
00:18:51,143 --> 00:18:53,292
Oh, my God, Dad, you were so right.
512
00:18:53,293 --> 00:18:55,122
This place is awesome,
513
00:18:55,123 --> 00:18:57,242
especially the rock that
looked like a buffalo.
514
00:18:57,243 --> 00:19:00,122
Mike had so much he was going to say,
515
00:19:00,123 --> 00:19:02,202
but in that moment, he
couldn't say anything
516
00:19:02,203 --> 00:19:04,152
'cause he knew he might be able
517
00:19:04,153 --> 00:19:06,182
to stop a girl from going to Dollywood,
518
00:19:06,183 --> 00:19:08,142
but he couldn't stop a woman.
519
00:19:08,143 --> 00:19:10,333
[Up-tempo music playing]
520
00:19:14,323 --> 00:19:16,172
May I cut in?
521
00:19:16,173 --> 00:19:17,332
Aww.
522
00:19:17,333 --> 00:19:19,163
Oh. [Laughs]
523
00:19:21,153 --> 00:19:23,122
Okay, Brick, no more tricks.
524
00:19:23,123 --> 00:19:25,112
You see that blonde in the corner?
525
00:19:25,113 --> 00:19:26,302
I'm gonna need you to go over there
526
00:19:26,303 --> 00:19:28,192
and bring your d-bag "A" game.
527
00:19:28,193 --> 00:19:30,192
[Clicks tongue] Axl, I don't get this.
528
00:19:30,193 --> 00:19:31,292
You're always great with women.
529
00:19:31,293 --> 00:19:33,272
You have so many moves.
Why do you even need me?
530
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,302
[Sighs] I don't know.
531
00:19:35,303 --> 00:19:38,322
I'm just kind of in a
slump or something.
532
00:19:38,323 --> 00:19:40,302
Okay, here's the thing.
533
00:19:40,303 --> 00:19:43,342
A couple weeks ago, I saw
Devin with some skater guy,
534
00:19:43,343 --> 00:19:47,162
and she was all, like, laughing
and throwing her hair back.
535
00:19:47,163 --> 00:19:48,122
You know how girls do that?
536
00:19:48,123 --> 00:19:50,122
No. Cindy never laughs.
537
00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:51,252
But I thought you and Devin broke up.
538
00:19:51,253 --> 00:19:54,232
Well, I kind of thought we
did, but I-I wasn't sure.
539
00:19:54,233 --> 00:19:56,272
The whole conversation
was very confusing.
540
00:19:56,273 --> 00:19:58,152
I guess in the back of my mind,
541
00:19:58,153 --> 00:19:59,252
I always figured we'd work it out.
542
00:19:59,253 --> 00:20:01,192
But now it seems like she's moved on.
543
00:20:01,193 --> 00:20:03,202
So when I go back to East Indy,
it's just gonna be weird.
544
00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:04,242
Mm.
545
00:20:04,243 --> 00:20:07,342
I'm sorry. Did you say
you go to East Indy?
546
00:20:07,343 --> 00:20:08,322
My cousin goes there.
547
00:20:08,323 --> 00:20:10,122
Oh? Okay.
548
00:20:10,123 --> 00:20:12,252
Do you know Zachary Paul?
549
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:13,302
I'm sorry. That's dumb.
550
00:20:13,303 --> 00:20:15,292
Of course you don't.
That's a huge campus.
551
00:20:15,293 --> 00:20:17,272
Yeah, that is kind of dumb.
552
00:20:17,273 --> 00:20:19,342
I mean, no, no, no. You're not dumb.
553
00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:21,322
I don't... It's huge.
I mean, the campus.
554
00:20:21,323 --> 00:20:23,122
The campus is huge!
555
00:20:23,123 --> 00:20:25,252
And you're not dumb.
You're smart, probably.
556
00:20:25,253 --> 00:20:27,322
I mean, I don't really
know you, but, uh...
557
00:20:27,323 --> 00:20:29,172
Hey, sweetcakes.
558
00:20:29,173 --> 00:20:31,283
What's a guy got to do to get
a stinkin' refill of Sprite?
559
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:34,262
Uh, oh, hey.
560
00:20:34,263 --> 00:20:36,302
Sorry, hey, is this guy being a jerk?
561
00:20:36,303 --> 00:20:39,302
Beat it, kid I don't know.
Scram! Skedaddle! Scoot!
562
00:20:39,303 --> 00:20:44,272
I'm sorry, you said Zachary Paul, right?
563
00:20:44,273 --> 00:20:46,272
Oh, yeah, sure, I know that guy.
564
00:20:46,273 --> 00:20:48,312
Kind of short, stocky, reddish hair,
565
00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:50,152
always wears a Pacers cap?
566
00:20:50,153 --> 00:20:51,282
Not even close.
567
00:20:51,283 --> 00:20:53,122
On any of it?
568
00:20:53,123 --> 00:20:55,272
Well, you got the "guy" part right.
569
00:20:55,273 --> 00:20:57,232
[Chuckles] Okay. Let me see.
I'm gonna get this.
570
00:20:57,233 --> 00:20:58,302
Um, oh!
571
00:20:58,303 --> 00:21:01,162
Tall, shaved head, gold earring.
572
00:21:01,163 --> 00:21:02,202
[Chuckles]
573
00:21:02,203 --> 00:21:03,222
No, wait, that's Mr. Clean.
574
00:21:03,223 --> 00:21:06,173
[Laughs]
575
00:21:10,233 --> 00:21:13,172
That was our last family
vacation with the Donahues,
576
00:21:13,173 --> 00:21:15,202
'cause the next year
they went to Hawaii.
577
00:21:15,203 --> 00:21:16,322
And while they were gone,
578
00:21:16,323 --> 00:21:19,323
I may or may not have
backed over Shelly's bike.
579
00:21:21,365 --> 00:21:24,182
Sync and corrections by peterbrito
www.addic7ed.com
580
00:21:24,232 --> 00:21:28,782
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0